The FUN in dysFUNctional

  When we experience hardship, many of us often resort to just giving up or find ourselves wishing we could start over if only we had the chance. We tend to overlook how far we’ve already come, just because the road ahead seems endlessly rough or winding. We forget the joy we felt when we finally reached what we thought was the “finish line.” We forget those sweet moments of “finally” that were born from “hoping,” “one day,” and “claiming.” The sense of fulfillment that once lit us up slowly fades as we devour the victory and hope it stays longer. But here's the truth:  taking a step back is not a bad thing.  It’s okay to pause, to check in with yourself, to do a little "temp check" on your heart and mind. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being, to reflect, to even walk away from things that no longer serve you. And you should never feel ashamed for doing so. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are or to invalidate your journey just because things feel he...

It’s magical how we perceive one thing in different angles, in different versions of ourselves. How a sunflower is just a pretty yellow flower when we're five — something we draw with crayons and stick on the fridge — and then later becomes a symbol of hope, resilience, and reaching for the light when we’re eighteen. How we anticipate going to church every Sunday just for the promise of food after — a family lunch, a favorite dessert — and then, years later, we walk into the same place searching for peace, trying to leave our burdens on the pew. How going to class every day feels like a chore when we’re students, dragging our feet and counting the hours, only to realize later that school was one of the few times life felt structured, simple, and safe — before we were thrown into the chaos of chasing bigger dreams. How sleep was a punishment as kids, and now, it feels like a fragile luxury we keep running toward but never quite catch. It’s funny — and beautiful — how time doesn...

 I don't know how living feels like, up until now, I only know how to survive. The stability in chaos is what I always pray for, then I thought to myself, how can I crave for something I didn't experience yet. For the longest time I only know how to survive every suffering, I don't know how to fully enjoy without having any backup plans and side thoughts of when will this happiness end, what is the price of every giggle I let go, what will make me regret even enjoying moments — and to wish that it just didn't happen altogether. I learned to breathe while drowning, and now that's all I know. I don't know how to chill. I was and will always be grateful for all of the blessings, but know that at the back of my mind, it will always be: "what's the consequence of this joy?" For now, I'll let go of my worries and indulge in the sadness filling my mind. It's okay to bond with my negative emotions — at the end of the day, everything needs to...